i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
