you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
