if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
