I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Buhtt sex?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
