worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
