she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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