You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
