Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
