is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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