Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize