Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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