zippers are such a cool invention
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
