Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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