I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
These tits shall not be calmed
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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