I'm so fucking centered right now
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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