I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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