thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
