she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize