They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
