that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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