I CAN MOONWALK!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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