Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Houston, we have a blender
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
