My friends, they love my intelligence
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize
