did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
