Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
