Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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