please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
