the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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