That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
