with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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