Umm I'm too high to move.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
