apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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