Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
