You just made me feel so damn special
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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