At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
