i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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