Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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