i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
