Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
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