what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
