it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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