I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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