But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
