i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Terrible idea I love it
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
