At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
