Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
