I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
