Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
