6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
