Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
