Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize