Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
