his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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