whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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