to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
