and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
