shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
