we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it's like iHOP with fire
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
