He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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