You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
