I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
