He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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