you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
