I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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