But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
