mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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