so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize